Monday, March 4, 2013
when one hardly knows what to pray for ...
It is hard watching a loved one die a lingering death. It is a time, as a clergy colleague put it, when one hardly knows what to pray for. Does one pray for a miracle? But everyone must die sometime. If not now, when? For more time? To what end: so that they might spend more time in pain? So that their loved ones might have longer to watch them slowly fade away? For a blessed release? How does one pray for the death of one they love?
I have no answers. Perhaps there are no answers. Only the questions with which all must struggle with for themselves.
For myself, right now, I only pray that the Lord will be merciful. I do not ask as to how that mercy might be shown. And I ask for the grace to accept his mercy in whatever form he chooses to grant it.
My father is due to be discharged today; my mother most likely will be discharged also, to be kept comfortable in the nursing home for how ever long that may be; & my mother-in-law is in increasing pain dealt with by increasingly strong doses of medication.